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Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Beyond what I know

I woke up on this beautiful day and I find myself thinking back on happenings of the past few days.I met her about seven years ago, at first casually but later closely. She was a very likable girl. You might be wondering why i used "was" in my last statement. I can't help describing as such because of the change in the status of our relationship.


I will no longer be seeing her in our neighbourhood. Tall, dark skinned and very slim. A lot of people who have come around her, I mean who have had cause to relate with her on any occasion have found her very industrious.


I got close to her at the corner shop she manages. She was really in charge, taking stock, restocking, instructing suppliers and attending to her customers. She is a member of a family who are friends to my family. She was adopted over eight years ago. She was very well integrated into the family that one has begun to notice physical resemblance common to that family.


She trained as a hair stylist with little or no academic background. She could relate in English language fairly well and would escape notice of passers through and will be passed as with a minimum of secondary school leaving certificate. She had the comportment of an schooled young woman. This in particular reflected in the way she dressed and her face make up.


In spite of the facade, i have drifted into thinking of her background. I have often wondered about it and it raised a few questions on my mind, though i didn't consciously search for answers. She is obviously in her mid twenties and has spent most of her last two decade amongst strangers who have become her family.


Very smart and would convert anything to cash even humans if she was that inclined. I found out that she never had anybody come around to look for her. Her father became late recently and she travelled for the burial rites as expected in this southern part of Nigeria. She attended and related the event on her return as very quiet due to lack of funds. Her story was laden with regrets.

Her mother is a subsistence farmer who could hardly feed herself from her harvest. Of course that has to explain why her daughter could not live with her and has to live with strangers for the most of her adult life now. There seem to be no serious bond between the two.


Suddenly things started to change with her. Attitude was non- chalant, mode of dressing was loud and inappropriate, manner of approach to most issues was rude and unagreeable. She began to exhibit arrogance. On a few occasions, she decided to leave the family house without telling anyone. She left very early in the mornings and came back very very late. She didn't give any reason for her long absence from the house.


She was obviously systematically fishing for trouble. Why she was doing that was beyond me. I tried to think through why she could be doing that and I felt and could only come up with the reason that she was no longer feeling like a part of the family that adopted her. The crack was showing, and she made it a duty to show visitors that came to their home that something was amiss.


All those who tried to counsel her never really got close to what was wrong with her because she did not volunteer personal information about her and what was really bothering her.


That chance to start imagining began. Can the desire to get married or the desperation to be loved and love in return make a girl turn her back on the family that has supported her for over eight years. Can one just wipe out eight years of ones life without giving any significance to it. Would the experiences passed through within that number of years be meaningless. She rubbished the ties with the family when she wanted to severe it.


She moved out of the family house in a very rude manner and erased all means of contacting her. She simply got lost. I am lost for words myself.

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