CRITCISM FOR GROWTH

The diamond is a piece of transparent stone that becomes a precious gem when cut and polished just as criticisms cuts and polishes writers when building careers in creative writing.



Every writer needs to be cut and polished with criticisms if any good is to be derived from their existence. In their desire to be the best that they can be, they encounter criticism more often than they even bargain for.


Writers submit their works for critique in order to assess how they fair against set standards and view judgment stemming from others' interpretation of their literary pieces. However the critique mostly come back as severe criticisms. This generally over shadows the inherent goodness in criticism.



It is noteworthy, that many experienced writers critique in manners that are discouraging, damaging and rude, whereas the ultimate purpose of critique is to assess, guide and motivate. Because creative writers breath in criticism like oxygen, a positive attitude to it must be developed by both the critic and the critiqued.


Take the case of Ole Bull for instance, he was a famous Norwegian violinist of the past century. He was born 200 years ago in 1810. He was very talented and had been playing solos as early as age nine. His father was a chemist and a very practical person, who believed in education.

Therefore he encourage his son in the  academic pursuit of theology, but Bull believed so much in his ability as a violinist that he abandoned formal schooling after failing the entrance examination.

However, Bull trained in music under several teachers but they did not use any academic rules.They, the teachers and Bull, all had raw and unrefined skill.  In spite of Bull's music lacking technique, he was able to  develop a personal style good enough for commercial success, which he got initially in America.


His raw and exceptional talent encountered  several severe bashing while touring and doing concerts in Europe.There, he never impressed serious musicians and critics. In fact, in Italy, a Milan newspaper critic wrote: "He is an untrained musician. If he be a diamond, he is certainly in the rough and unpolished."

Of course to every action, there will be a reaction, either negative or positive. Bull had a choice in either getting sore and angry, and eventually disregarding  the comment or analysing it thoroughly and learning from it.

Happily his choice was to learn. He fished out the critique and had a beneficial detailed meeting with him. From that encounter, he was able to list his faults and weaknesses and also found out how he could get help to correct them


As a result of  taking the criticism positively, he had to take certain harsh decisions required to enable him improve. Eventually, he came back and conquered Europe at age twenty-six (26) and became a music sensation unequaled where he was erstwhile seen as not serious .

Criticism is an essential part of the required ingredients for growth in any industry, and the reactions to them often means the difference between success and failure. For Bull, criticism made a difference.
Give and take criticisms to facilitate growth.

Bros.

My brother is an expression that is very common in the part of Africa where i come from. it has different connotation to different people.
Brother of course is a simple expression of the name you can call your sibling whose gender is identified to be male.
I have four of them and they are wonderful. All of them are scattered all over the world. You cannot imagine how I feel, when i talk to them on the phone. I get so excited, words cannot explain.
I get very impressed with the difference in their differences, no pun intended. I get to call them brothers when we agree on issues and mesh in our ideas. I am so blessed to have grown up in the same household with them, because there can't be a better 'school'.
School . You would of course be wondering why i called my family a school.
A school is typified by the different classes, different departments, different scholars and different areas of interest.
Brothers:
when seen in terms of different departments belong to different field. The civil, electrical and the mechanical engineers,and  the accountants. They have all been successful in their own right. If i have to describe them as they come to me relating to their behaviors as we were growing up, them it will become more interesting.

The Music Lover:
Who would have peace if his idea is not swallowed. He has a swagger about him. He is good looking and very imposing. His love of music is very endearing. he even earned a living from that. his working part time as a deejay is not to imply that he needed the income from the preoccupation. I believe it was just to short list his clients as there were numerous of them who would like him to spin at their gigs.
The Academic:
Studying comes so easily to him. plenty of times, he would be watching the television and you would also find him reading. Quiet and unassuming. I love the way he dishes out his smiles, very endearing and  i am sure his wife could not resist his charming personality.
The Home Maker:
He is very emotional. You could keep a whole Sunday school class of babies with him and be at peace. You are assured there will not be a sound of cry form therein. So motherly will be a description from want of the right vocabulary. Even so, it will be an understatement describing him as such because he cooks and bakes brilliantly.
The Adventuresome:
He can dare to thread where others don't. Very enterprising and persevering. I have never seen any of them as respectful and loyal. He is so down to earth and has brought many friendships to the family.
But they only get to be called my brothers when we agree. They will be called bros when they upset me and i get pushed  to address them.

Bros, in another parlance, can be defined as any male in our local variance of English called pidgin, where there is no history of closeness in relationship. This definition is not exclusive of that meaning because it can also be used for anybody when expressing anger as i earlier wrote.

Bros is like calling an individual Mister, but in an informal situation.


However my bros are my brothers and i cherish them.

Digital Literacy

Today children find the use of the Internet effortless and they are light years ahead of most adults in the use of the computer, Internet and the sites available therein. The scope and anonymity of content, of the internet makes the involvement of parents very relevant.

Parenting is a full time job that is paid for mostly by the way the offsprings turn out. it is no doubt an arduous task, but can be rewarding.

As a parent myself i get intimidated when i have to turn to my children when i seek information. The volume of what they know is huge and require moderation.

They route around with the use of this technology like it's second nature. Believe it or not, it brings to the fore the need to cover some gap as a parent. This challenge is overcome by simply seeking more information to becoming cyber-smart yourself.

Guidance in the maximisation of the use of the internet and minimising of the risks should be made priority. Let it sink that the internet is primarily a tool that can be tuned and managed to fit your preferences.

Get involved,as parents, in the internet activities of your children at home especially, because more time is spent at home. Researches in Canada for instance, have shown that about 94% of children go online at home.

That time with them is part of the quality time required in their formative years to give solid foundation upon which their own individual traits, attitudes, habits and preferences are built.

What would be referred to as history in the future is made today.
It is noteworthy that, many have wrecked their future with entries made on their social media pages early in their lives.

Stress the moral and criminal implication of plagiarism, which is a major temptation to children when they use the internet for their school work.

The internet is a no man's land, therefore caution on the its free use for children must be emphasised.

We all use the internet to either work or play irrespective of our age. Many of the sites we use request for our personal information, but as adults who are cybersmart, limitation are made to how much information to give.

Train your wards on how and where to seek information. Emphasise the the use of dependable sources. Our kids may not know, therefore, they should be trained to approach the internet critically. Make them ask questions about information , for instance;
who wrote the information,
when it was written,
what is the relevance of the content, etc

Time also should not be wasted on the internet in terms of excessive use for play to avoid addiction. Further, idle surfing allows exposure to hateful content, pornography, gaming to metion a few which are avoidable where disciple is in place.

Trained to Love | BeyondJane

Trained to Love BeyondJane

DUMPED ON AIR

Alas!
I float in the air
Above all
Empowered by love
Imagine the puerility

In it was no shame
Like between satin sheets
Its raw beauty
none compare
Encapsulating.

But reneged?
I ached and cried and was maimed
Rends the air
I heard my name, ashamed
'it is over'

WORDS

I hope to live
In turn i give
A joke or two to sieve
A smile from eve.

A flavour to your lies
As they tighten the ties
In the comments that lies
At the bottom of your piece.

Behold i fly
The sky now nigh
My words now mine
to share as thine


Read more: http://authspot.com/poetry/words-84/#ixzz0yT2CWlhp

EI COMPLIANT MANAGER

The dictionary meaning of Emotional Intelligence is the 'awareness of one's own emotions and moods and those of other'

While IQ-Intelligent Quotient measures cognitive ability, EQ-Emotional Quotient measures the emotional capabilities of individuals. Climbing the ladder of success in any career can be a happy and fulfilling experience, and equally, it can be sad and frustrating. whichever it is, emotions come into play.

Many organisations have become more conscious of, and have taken serious, who is employed, in terms of other capabilities apart from technical competence. Candidates are now further subjected to extensive battery of tests to rate emotional competence.

Development of people skills and relationships is a build up of communication and networks. The dynamics of the networks in the work environment has a lot of impact on achievement. Researches in the USA have shown that managers with better people skills, for instance in communication, responsiveness, guidance and coaching, get better performance from the people they manage.

Before Daniel Goleman, who is the major proponent of the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI), in a book in 1995, Jack Mayer and Peter Salovey in 1989 had discussed EI in an article whose content can be summarised as follows:

• 
  
       identify emotional traits, 
• 
  
       understand how emotion works, and
• 
  
       manage emotions.

All the afore mentioned are the core of the subject matter as it relates to self, others and as they guide thoughts and actions.

Goleman of course widened the scope of the subject matter and expressed the concept in terms of competences, which are broadly put as:

• personal competencies - from self awareness to self regulation and
• social competences- basically social skills.

To internalise the content of EI, I approached it through an acronym A.G.E. Apart from the fact that it reminds me that one  need this skill more as one grows older in the work life, it sums up EI coincisely.

A - Articulation of the understanding of self. This is self awareness regarding prefences and motivations. This exercise will definitely require a SWOT analysis of self. Investigation would include status on

• self control and self management,
• adaptability- flexibility in handling change, and
• initiative - reaction to opportunity.

G -Gregariousness. Emotional content of others are identified, reviewed, understood in context. Get to know others, knowing that this is not just about being nice or friendly.
Identify their distinguishing traits and archive them for reference.

How well you can understand the cues received from others in your immediate or extended networks promotes bonding.Verbal and non verbal cues are what can be mostly noted here and considerations of their literal and implied meanings can be impactful.

At this stage relationships to others are carried out guided by what is learned to be thier emotional traits and reactions to circumstances or situations. 

E - Expression is to give a voice to one's memory and direct or guide action as required.  Expressing oneself is basically communicating and communication is a two way system, if it is to be effective. The aftermath of what is learned from self and others is exhibited behaviorally in the day to day relationships with them.

These reflections can be seen in the level of influence emotionally intelligent people have on others, reaction to  instructions given by them, respect shown to them and considerations in actions taken towards them.

Relevance of EI to workplace.
The awareness of one's and others' emotions can only be necessary in a work situation for reasons of managing people well and for motivation.

Managers equipped with EI are very understanding, seen to be well adjusted, well comported and are easy role models. An EI compliant manager's plan of work will stem from a review of strengths and weakness of colleagues.
Team work dynamics will thrive very well.
Negotiation and conflict resolution skills are sharpened as EI level rises.

Professionals with good leadership skills are rated high in EI. Good leaders are so referred  to because they are primarily influencers.The ability to influence others can only come from understanding dispositions of the significant others involved. Leaders with good EI are often described as sensitive.

Researches have shown linkages between EI and improved job performances, and EI and improved team work.

Just as individuals have varying levels of intelligence, the same it is with EI. It has also been agreed by several scholars that EI can be learned through well monitored training by professionals.

 It is noteworthy that  EQ cannot replace IQ, but having noted that, an employee with a good blend of both, that synergy -core technical competence and emotional intelligence - will give birth to a creation for resounding achievement and trail blazing success.

ON THE DEATH BED

To work is a basic expectation from any average adult, but to work means differently to people. Ideally to be engaged at a task is to work. Many have leisurely performed tasks that they enjoy and more like playing they work.The anxiety that fuels work stems from worry about the future, both immediate and remote.Worries ranging from; how will one cater for shelter, clothing, and feeding. These have always being the basic necessities of life and are enough motivation to work. To some, these are simple desires that have to be compulsorily  met, and for others, it is at a higher level. The level which could involve a mansion as a form of shelter,wearing of designer labels as clothing, and eating choice cuisine as feeding. Even the aforementioned is but the lowest level of needs for many obsessive individuals.

Should we work to satisfy cravings and covetousness?

Why work?

The simplest ways of living have been known to promote happiness and peace of mind. To live a meaningful life is work and recreate in reasonable measures.A good balance of work on one side and recreation along with meeting of family needs on the other will most certainly bring rich rewards. A journal once read that "the recession and economic turmoil is creating a new class of casualties" these casualties range from couples who cant afford to love each other, but can't afford to divorce and are therefore forced to live dangerously with each other, children who are bitter because they have not been shown what loving sacrificially can be like.

 This same criminal (recession and economic turmoil) is further developing another breed of humans who are absolutely obsessesively overwhelmed with the art of work. Modern day men have become slaves to work.  They work on the go, with their blackberrys, i-phone, and mac-books. One can not overlook the benefits they derive from it, ranging from fulfilment, success, money, and stresss to mention but a few.

Work in the right proportion actually yeilds happiness, but overwork can be generically deadly. Stress induced illnesses such as heart disease, ulcer,migrane, obesity etc., are actually avoidable. 

A study on teanagers rated " not having enough time with parents" as their top concern. Similar concern was also expressed by some women in the U.K., and was summed up in the statement "most of the energy have been used at work and what is let is shared between the children and sleep". It is advisable not to forsake the joys of family life through the placement too much emphasis on work. That said is not to undermine the essence and importance of work in human life.

Easier said that done.

How can one have a balanced approach to work and relaxation at a time like this, when recession stares all in the face. At the point of death, many do an appraisal of their lives, mostly in-terms of what they did and enjoyed and what they did not do and regretted not doing. A man in his 75th year and preparing to die, after about forty years of a happy marriage, several vacations with children and grand children, countless county meetings with neighbours to discuss topical issues for common good of the environment they lived in, will not likely think of work. EXCEPT of course the colleagues he worked with over the years that he would miss. His room-mate at the hospital, a seasoned entrepreneur, will of course remember happily the company he reared from nothing to a conglomerate, those times when he had to face challenges of strangulating competition to survive in other to promote his brand. A brand he worked tirelessly to build which has in turn placed him on the death bed, along with a bonus of a broken marriage and poor social life.

If you would disregard the morbidity of the next imagined situation, and oblige the request, maybe a clue to the solution would be evident. Imagine yourself on the death-bed, would you say"i wish i had spent more time working".