Friday, July 29, 2011
This Thing Called Love
I can't help thinking about love. Love is a beautiful feeling, or is it an excruciating pain. Love is pain or is it pleasure. Can it be more pain than pleasure or more pleasure than pain. Love may also be full of equal measure of pleasure and pain.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Beyond what I know
I woke up on this beautiful day and I find myself thinking back on happenings of the past few days.I met her about seven years ago, at first casually but later closely. She was a very likable girl. You might be wondering why i used "was" in my last statement. I can't help describing as such because of the change in the status of our relationship.
I will no longer be seeing her in our neighbourhood. Tall, dark skinned and very slim. A lot of people who have come around her, I mean who have had cause to relate with her on any occasion have found her very industrious.
I got close to her at the corner shop she manages. She was really in charge, taking stock, restocking, instructing suppliers and attending to her customers. She is a member of a family who are friends to my family. She was adopted over eight years ago. She was very well integrated into the family that one has begun to notice physical resemblance common to that family.
She trained as a hair stylist with little or no academic background. She could relate in English language fairly well and would escape notice of passers through and will be passed as with a minimum of secondary school leaving certificate. She had the comportment of an schooled young woman. This in particular reflected in the way she dressed and her face make up.
In spite of the facade, i have drifted into thinking of her background. I have often wondered about it and it raised a few questions on my mind, though i didn't consciously search for answers. She is obviously in her mid twenties and has spent most of her last two decade amongst strangers who have become her family.
Very smart and would convert anything to cash even humans if she was that inclined. I found out that she never had anybody come around to look for her. Her father became late recently and she travelled for the burial rites as expected in this southern part of Nigeria. She attended and related the event on her return as very quiet due to lack of funds. Her story was laden with regrets.
Her mother is a subsistence farmer who could hardly feed herself from her harvest. Of course that has to explain why her daughter could not live with her and has to live with strangers for the most of her adult life now. There seem to be no serious bond between the two.
Suddenly things started to change with her. Attitude was non- chalant, mode of dressing was loud and inappropriate, manner of approach to most issues was rude and unagreeable. She began to exhibit arrogance. On a few occasions, she decided to leave the family house without telling anyone. She left very early in the mornings and came back very very late. She didn't give any reason for her long absence from the house.
She was obviously systematically fishing for trouble. Why she was doing that was beyond me. I tried to think through why she could be doing that and I felt and could only come up with the reason that she was no longer feeling like a part of the family that adopted her. The crack was showing, and she made it a duty to show visitors that came to their home that something was amiss.
All those who tried to counsel her never really got close to what was wrong with her because she did not volunteer personal information about her and what was really bothering her.
That chance to start imagining began. Can the desire to get married or the desperation to be loved and love in return make a girl turn her back on the family that has supported her for over eight years. Can one just wipe out eight years of ones life without giving any significance to it. Would the experiences passed through within that number of years be meaningless. She rubbished the ties with the family when she wanted to severe it.
She moved out of the family house in a very rude manner and erased all means of contacting her. She simply got lost. I am lost for words myself.
I will no longer be seeing her in our neighbourhood. Tall, dark skinned and very slim. A lot of people who have come around her, I mean who have had cause to relate with her on any occasion have found her very industrious.
I got close to her at the corner shop she manages. She was really in charge, taking stock, restocking, instructing suppliers and attending to her customers. She is a member of a family who are friends to my family. She was adopted over eight years ago. She was very well integrated into the family that one has begun to notice physical resemblance common to that family.
She trained as a hair stylist with little or no academic background. She could relate in English language fairly well and would escape notice of passers through and will be passed as with a minimum of secondary school leaving certificate. She had the comportment of an schooled young woman. This in particular reflected in the way she dressed and her face make up.
In spite of the facade, i have drifted into thinking of her background. I have often wondered about it and it raised a few questions on my mind, though i didn't consciously search for answers. She is obviously in her mid twenties and has spent most of her last two decade amongst strangers who have become her family.
Very smart and would convert anything to cash even humans if she was that inclined. I found out that she never had anybody come around to look for her. Her father became late recently and she travelled for the burial rites as expected in this southern part of Nigeria. She attended and related the event on her return as very quiet due to lack of funds. Her story was laden with regrets.
Her mother is a subsistence farmer who could hardly feed herself from her harvest. Of course that has to explain why her daughter could not live with her and has to live with strangers for the most of her adult life now. There seem to be no serious bond between the two.
Suddenly things started to change with her. Attitude was non- chalant, mode of dressing was loud and inappropriate, manner of approach to most issues was rude and unagreeable. She began to exhibit arrogance. On a few occasions, she decided to leave the family house without telling anyone. She left very early in the mornings and came back very very late. She didn't give any reason for her long absence from the house.
She was obviously systematically fishing for trouble. Why she was doing that was beyond me. I tried to think through why she could be doing that and I felt and could only come up with the reason that she was no longer feeling like a part of the family that adopted her. The crack was showing, and she made it a duty to show visitors that came to their home that something was amiss.
All those who tried to counsel her never really got close to what was wrong with her because she did not volunteer personal information about her and what was really bothering her.
That chance to start imagining began. Can the desire to get married or the desperation to be loved and love in return make a girl turn her back on the family that has supported her for over eight years. Can one just wipe out eight years of ones life without giving any significance to it. Would the experiences passed through within that number of years be meaningless. She rubbished the ties with the family when she wanted to severe it.
She moved out of the family house in a very rude manner and erased all means of contacting her. She simply got lost. I am lost for words myself.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Thursday, September 23, 2010
CRITCISM FOR GROWTH
The diamond is a piece of transparent stone that becomes a precious gem when cut and polished just as criticisms cuts and polishes writers when building careers in creative writing.
Every writer needs to be cut and polished with criticisms if any good is to be derived from their existence. In their desire to be the best that they can be, they encounter criticism more often than they even bargain for.
Writers submit their works for critique in order to assess how they fair against set standards and view judgment stemming from others' interpretation of their literary pieces. However the critique mostly come back as severe criticisms. This generally over shadows the inherent goodness in criticism.
It is noteworthy, that many experienced writers critique in manners that are discouraging, damaging and rude, whereas the ultimate purpose of critique is to assess, guide and motivate. Because creative writers breath in criticism like oxygen, a positive attitude to it must be developed by both the critic and the critiqued.
Take the case of Ole Bull for instance, he was a famous Norwegian violinist of the past century. He was born 200 years ago in 1810. He was very talented and had been playing solos as early as age nine. His father was a chemist and a very practical person, who believed in education.
Therefore he encourage his son in the academic pursuit of theology, but Bull believed so much in his ability as a violinist that he abandoned formal schooling after failing the entrance examination.
However, Bull trained in music under several teachers but they did not use any academic rules.They, the teachers and Bull, all had raw and unrefined skill. In spite of Bull's music lacking technique, he was able to develop a personal style good enough for commercial success, which he got initially in America.
His raw and exceptional talent encountered several severe bashing while touring and doing concerts in Europe.There, he never impressed serious musicians and critics. In fact, in Italy, a Milan newspaper critic wrote: "He is an untrained musician. If he be a diamond, he is certainly in the rough and unpolished."
Of course to every action, there will be a reaction, either negative or positive. Bull had a choice in either getting sore and angry, and eventually disregarding the comment or analysing it thoroughly and learning from it.
Happily his choice was to learn. He fished out the critique and had a beneficial detailed meeting with him. From that encounter, he was able to list his faults and weaknesses and also found out how he could get help to correct them
As a result of taking the criticism positively, he had to take certain harsh decisions required to enable him improve. Eventually, he came back and conquered Europe at age twenty-six (26) and became a music sensation unequaled where he was erstwhile seen as not serious .
Criticism is an essential part of the required ingredients for growth in any industry, and the reactions to them often means the difference between success and failure. For Bull, criticism made a difference.
Give and take criticisms to facilitate growth.
Every writer needs to be cut and polished with criticisms if any good is to be derived from their existence. In their desire to be the best that they can be, they encounter criticism more often than they even bargain for.
Writers submit their works for critique in order to assess how they fair against set standards and view judgment stemming from others' interpretation of their literary pieces. However the critique mostly come back as severe criticisms. This generally over shadows the inherent goodness in criticism.
It is noteworthy, that many experienced writers critique in manners that are discouraging, damaging and rude, whereas the ultimate purpose of critique is to assess, guide and motivate. Because creative writers breath in criticism like oxygen, a positive attitude to it must be developed by both the critic and the critiqued.
Take the case of Ole Bull for instance, he was a famous Norwegian violinist of the past century. He was born 200 years ago in 1810. He was very talented and had been playing solos as early as age nine. His father was a chemist and a very practical person, who believed in education.
Therefore he encourage his son in the academic pursuit of theology, but Bull believed so much in his ability as a violinist that he abandoned formal schooling after failing the entrance examination.
However, Bull trained in music under several teachers but they did not use any academic rules.They, the teachers and Bull, all had raw and unrefined skill. In spite of Bull's music lacking technique, he was able to develop a personal style good enough for commercial success, which he got initially in America.
His raw and exceptional talent encountered several severe bashing while touring and doing concerts in Europe.There, he never impressed serious musicians and critics. In fact, in Italy, a Milan newspaper critic wrote: "He is an untrained musician. If he be a diamond, he is certainly in the rough and unpolished."
Of course to every action, there will be a reaction, either negative or positive. Bull had a choice in either getting sore and angry, and eventually disregarding the comment or analysing it thoroughly and learning from it.
Happily his choice was to learn. He fished out the critique and had a beneficial detailed meeting with him. From that encounter, he was able to list his faults and weaknesses and also found out how he could get help to correct them
As a result of taking the criticism positively, he had to take certain harsh decisions required to enable him improve. Eventually, he came back and conquered Europe at age twenty-six (26) and became a music sensation unequaled where he was erstwhile seen as not serious .
Criticism is an essential part of the required ingredients for growth in any industry, and the reactions to them often means the difference between success and failure. For Bull, criticism made a difference.
Give and take criticisms to facilitate growth.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Bros.
My brother is an expression that is very common in the part of Africa where i come from. it has different connotation to different people.
Brother of course is a simple expression of the name you can call your sibling whose gender is identified to be male.
I have four of them and they are wonderful. All of them are scattered all over the world. You cannot imagine how I feel, when i talk to them on the phone. I get so excited, words cannot explain.
I get very impressed with the difference in their differences, no pun intended. I get to call them brothers when we agree on issues and mesh in our ideas. I am so blessed to have grown up in the same household with them, because there can't be a better 'school'.
School . You would of course be wondering why i called my family a school.
A school is typified by the different classes, different departments, different scholars and different areas of interest.
Brothers:
when seen in terms of different departments belong to different field. The civil, electrical and the mechanical engineers,and the accountants. They have all been successful in their own right. If i have to describe them as they come to me relating to their behaviors as we were growing up, them it will become more interesting.
The Music Lover:
Who would have peace if his idea is not swallowed. He has a swagger about him. He is good looking and very imposing. His love of music is very endearing. he even earned a living from that. his working part time as a deejay is not to imply that he needed the income from the preoccupation. I believe it was just to short list his clients as there were numerous of them who would like him to spin at their gigs.
The Academic:
Studying comes so easily to him. plenty of times, he would be watching the television and you would also find him reading. Quiet and unassuming. I love the way he dishes out his smiles, very endearing and i am sure his wife could not resist his charming personality.
The Home Maker:
He is very emotional. You could keep a whole Sunday school class of babies with him and be at peace. You are assured there will not be a sound of cry form therein. So motherly will be a description from want of the right vocabulary. Even so, it will be an understatement describing him as such because he cooks and bakes brilliantly.
The Adventuresome:
He can dare to thread where others don't. Very enterprising and persevering. I have never seen any of them as respectful and loyal. He is so down to earth and has brought many friendships to the family.
But they only get to be called my brothers when we agree. They will be called bros when they upset me and i get pushed to address them.
Bros, in another parlance, can be defined as any male in our local variance of English called pidgin, where there is no history of closeness in relationship. This definition is not exclusive of that meaning because it can also be used for anybody when expressing anger as i earlier wrote.
Bros is like calling an individual Mister, but in an informal situation.
However my bros are my brothers and i cherish them.
Brother of course is a simple expression of the name you can call your sibling whose gender is identified to be male.
I have four of them and they are wonderful. All of them are scattered all over the world. You cannot imagine how I feel, when i talk to them on the phone. I get so excited, words cannot explain.
I get very impressed with the difference in their differences, no pun intended. I get to call them brothers when we agree on issues and mesh in our ideas. I am so blessed to have grown up in the same household with them, because there can't be a better 'school'.
School . You would of course be wondering why i called my family a school.
A school is typified by the different classes, different departments, different scholars and different areas of interest.
Brothers:
when seen in terms of different departments belong to different field. The civil, electrical and the mechanical engineers,and the accountants. They have all been successful in their own right. If i have to describe them as they come to me relating to their behaviors as we were growing up, them it will become more interesting.
The Music Lover:
Who would have peace if his idea is not swallowed. He has a swagger about him. He is good looking and very imposing. His love of music is very endearing. he even earned a living from that. his working part time as a deejay is not to imply that he needed the income from the preoccupation. I believe it was just to short list his clients as there were numerous of them who would like him to spin at their gigs.
The Academic:
Studying comes so easily to him. plenty of times, he would be watching the television and you would also find him reading. Quiet and unassuming. I love the way he dishes out his smiles, very endearing and i am sure his wife could not resist his charming personality.
The Home Maker:
He is very emotional. You could keep a whole Sunday school class of babies with him and be at peace. You are assured there will not be a sound of cry form therein. So motherly will be a description from want of the right vocabulary. Even so, it will be an understatement describing him as such because he cooks and bakes brilliantly.
The Adventuresome:
He can dare to thread where others don't. Very enterprising and persevering. I have never seen any of them as respectful and loyal. He is so down to earth and has brought many friendships to the family.
But they only get to be called my brothers when we agree. They will be called bros when they upset me and i get pushed to address them.
Bros, in another parlance, can be defined as any male in our local variance of English called pidgin, where there is no history of closeness in relationship. This definition is not exclusive of that meaning because it can also be used for anybody when expressing anger as i earlier wrote.
Bros is like calling an individual Mister, but in an informal situation.
However my bros are my brothers and i cherish them.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Digital Literacy
Today children find the use of the Internet effortless and they are light years ahead of most adults in the use of the computer, Internet and the sites available therein. The scope and anonymity of content, of the internet makes the involvement of parents very relevant.
Parenting is a full time job that is paid for mostly by the way the offsprings turn out. it is no doubt an arduous task, but can be rewarding.
As a parent myself i get intimidated when i have to turn to my children when i seek information. The volume of what they know is huge and require moderation.
They route around with the use of this technology like it's second nature. Believe it or not, it brings to the fore the need to cover some gap as a parent. This challenge is overcome by simply seeking more information to becoming cyber-smart yourself.
Guidance in the maximisation of the use of the internet and minimising of the risks should be made priority. Let it sink that the internet is primarily a tool that can be tuned and managed to fit your preferences.
Get involved,as parents, in the internet activities of your children at home especially, because more time is spent at home. Researches in Canada for instance, have shown that about 94% of children go online at home.
That time with them is part of the quality time required in their formative years to give solid foundation upon which their own individual traits, attitudes, habits and preferences are built.
What would be referred to as history in the future is made today.
It is noteworthy that, many have wrecked their future with entries made on their social media pages early in their lives.
Stress the moral and criminal implication of plagiarism, which is a major temptation to children when they use the internet for their school work.
The internet is a no man's land, therefore caution on the its free use for children must be emphasised.
We all use the internet to either work or play irrespective of our age. Many of the sites we use request for our personal information, but as adults who are cybersmart, limitation are made to how much information to give.
Train your wards on how and where to seek information. Emphasise the the use of dependable sources. Our kids may not know, therefore, they should be trained to approach the internet critically. Make them ask questions about information , for instance;
who wrote the information,
when it was written,
what is the relevance of the content, etc
Time also should not be wasted on the internet in terms of excessive use for play to avoid addiction. Further, idle surfing allows exposure to hateful content, pornography, gaming to metion a few which are avoidable where disciple is in place.
Parenting is a full time job that is paid for mostly by the way the offsprings turn out. it is no doubt an arduous task, but can be rewarding.
As a parent myself i get intimidated when i have to turn to my children when i seek information. The volume of what they know is huge and require moderation.
They route around with the use of this technology like it's second nature. Believe it or not, it brings to the fore the need to cover some gap as a parent. This challenge is overcome by simply seeking more information to becoming cyber-smart yourself.
Guidance in the maximisation of the use of the internet and minimising of the risks should be made priority. Let it sink that the internet is primarily a tool that can be tuned and managed to fit your preferences.
Get involved,as parents, in the internet activities of your children at home especially, because more time is spent at home. Researches in Canada for instance, have shown that about 94% of children go online at home.
That time with them is part of the quality time required in their formative years to give solid foundation upon which their own individual traits, attitudes, habits and preferences are built.
What would be referred to as history in the future is made today.
It is noteworthy that, many have wrecked their future with entries made on their social media pages early in their lives.
Stress the moral and criminal implication of plagiarism, which is a major temptation to children when they use the internet for their school work.
The internet is a no man's land, therefore caution on the its free use for children must be emphasised.
We all use the internet to either work or play irrespective of our age. Many of the sites we use request for our personal information, but as adults who are cybersmart, limitation are made to how much information to give.
Train your wards on how and where to seek information. Emphasise the the use of dependable sources. Our kids may not know, therefore, they should be trained to approach the internet critically. Make them ask questions about information , for instance;
who wrote the information,
when it was written,
what is the relevance of the content, etc
Time also should not be wasted on the internet in terms of excessive use for play to avoid addiction. Further, idle surfing allows exposure to hateful content, pornography, gaming to metion a few which are avoidable where disciple is in place.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)